Current mood

There’s something about taking the bus on a Monday morning in agony with period pain to into town to go to my nearest bank & seeing that it is closed that pisses me off.
giphy-1

I don’t just mean pisses me off in a vague way.

200-5

I mean kick me in the crotch, grinding my soul & destroying my spirit kinda angry.

200-6

I have 3 more days here Switzerland. I have a feeling this is the beginning of a manifesto of all that I abhor coming to head.

200-8

Advertisements

Learning French

200

With less than 5 weeks to go in Switzerland I thought: ‘Hey, you should learn to speak French!’

200-1

I’m kidding, I hoped to sooner but with inconsistent work hours & trips away it was difficult to organise. Finally I seized my opportunity & booked a trial class for a level A1 course. I got the little one to nursery by 8am & at 8.30am I was sitting in a classroom with new french books ready for the learning to commence!

200

The teacher introduced herself & asked me some questions. She was particularly interested that I am currently single. She’s single, she told the class, in french. She said it so many times she wrote it on the fecking bored “Je suis célibataire”. She made me repeat it after her. She encourage me to write it in my notepad.

200-2

8.34am on a Monday morning in a neglected building in a run down part of town, I am staring at a faded blackboard with the white scrawlings ‘Je suis célibataire’, contemplating my life.

200-4

After moment of quiet consideration I look up & she’s asking me my age. I lie. She writes it on the board too. I think how my friends will laugh at this story. I don’t go back to the class – for other reasons. I wonder why the world is so cruel. I go on Tinder & arrange a date.200-3

Standing still for 6 months

As it happens, I have taken a job in Switzerland for 6 months. This is an exceptional commitment for me & the longest time I have stayed still in 5 years. I feel ever so slightly anxious…..

I am however looking forward to:

  • Having a local (pub/bar)
  • Having a regular fitness routine
  • Meeting people who I don’t have to leave the next day/month
  • Not having to pack up my life every month
  • The short commute to work (I’m live in)
  • Becoming awesome en français!
  • Not fretting about my next position
  • Having a regular day off (BLISS)
  • Exploring
  • Discovering
  • Relaxing
  • Having my own space

I do have the fear that I’m missing out on so many other opportunities & travel but I shall push that to the back of my mind for the sake of my happiness & sanity.

If anyone has tips for me to explore Switzerland & the surrounding countries, please do tell!

Next stop….??

Copenhagen! Lausanne! Copenhagen! Lausanne!

tumblr_me5r8fbda91rngy41o1_500

Damn…. I just can’t decide. This has been whirling through my head for days now. I pick one option & feel good about it, then ten minutes later I settle on the other. At this rate both options are going to expire by the time I decide.

Either way, I know my entire life will be affected by my choice – even though the jobs are just for 6 months.

Does anyone have any great tips on making decisions?

You want a job? Here, have 2

My last few weeks have revolved around panic, stressing out & frantically searching for work. I was even contemplating booking a flight back to Ireland where any productivity into finding work is zero due to family, the cutest niece & nephews, an adorable wee dog who tugs on my heart strings (exacerbated by catholic guilt) & attending to my ’rounds’ to see everyone whom I love dearly & miss.

Lo & behold I get a job offer & I feel GREAT!!!! Then… BAM!… Another one. Just like that. In less than 24hrs.

Now I am in a helpless, weighing up, seeking advice from my friends, pro-ing & con-ing, to-ing & fro-ing between life altering decisions. This could, of course, be more productive if I wasn’t doing 13 hour days.

I’m thankful that it’s a better type of stress. Plus if both opportunities seem so good that they are difficult to choose then either are going to be fantastic options. Right??? I have to hurry & seize my next adventure!

People of the internet!!! I beg thee! Tell me about life in Lausanne & Copenhagen so I can make a better choice! Also, what is the spider situation in each? Are they big? Sinister? Plentiful????

Dear Switzerland, I miss you

I cannot wait to get back to Switzerland. I am super excited about learning to snowboard. I don’t have much time left until the end of the season & I feel like I’ve hardly spend any quality time with my friends. Literally, where has the season gone? It has went even faster this year than the previous 2 seasons & somehow there are less crazy memories.
Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset
What have I been doing for the past 3 months!!?:
  • Had my first snowboard lesson
  • Enjoyed après drinks in the sunshine with the most beautiful views
  • Watched the entire Love/Hate series, that was amazing!
  • Worked my hooves off & have nothing to show for it
  • Moved house 5 times
  • Worked some more
  • Partied very hard about 6 times
  • Nannied the cutest kids
  • Blogged
  • Went to Morocco
  • Listened to London Grammar constantly
  • Caught a virus
  • Starting running
  • Started #take12trips
  • Invested in my skincare
  • Ate pasta
  • Ate cheese
  • Watched dinner date a bit too frequently
  • Read 3 books
  • Broke my celibacy
  • Drank coffee
  • Watched Ireland win 3 6 Nations games so far
  • Basked in many baths
  • Didn’t find a post season job
  • Daydreamed on Skyscanner
  • Anticipated the new Formula 1 season

I’m really going to make the most of it when I get back. Being sick last week & unable to do anything or see anyone has really made me want to get out there & see & do everything.

Switzerland, I hope you are ready for some serious quality time! See you on Sunday x

Another Merry Christmas away from home

My flights are booked to go to Switzerland just before Christmas to work during winter. They have been booked for over a month but I have been putting off telling my family. I work abroad most of the year & find that my timing in telling them has to be impeccable. I have to time it just right so it isn’t immediately after I get back from somewhere, just before I leave for somewhere or while I’m out of the country….. There is a small window of opportunity. My sister is the first one to react “Awk Nuala” she mutters annoyed & disappointed. I sit awkwardly as she motions to her children & says they’ll miss me on Christmas day. What can I say?
 
It’s not that I dislike Christmas at home, Christmas week is the busiest week for me work wise in Switzerland. The ski resort is at capacity & I am fully booked doing treatments & earning an income. I have a great work ethic & I don’t really see Christmas as a holiday. In Ireland I used to work long hours on the build up to Christmas & a 12 hour day with no break on Christmas eve. My dad would do some work on Christmas day & I would be straight back to work & in my usual routine on Boxing Day. I drank plenty with my family & friends in between, but it would never feel like a holiday to me – unlike others who get a few weeks off work to enjoy it. Actual time to switch off & enjoy the break. Oh, the beauty of working in customer service. 
*rolls eyes* 
 
This will be my third consecutive Christmas spent in Switzerland. I am going to be in one of the most beautiful places on earth spending it with the wonderful community of friends I have found. I will have to work, but it will be grand. Dependent on when I will be working, I will have poached eggs & an Irish coffee for breakfast, go for a Christmas ski (depending on how I feel from the night before. Note that the Irish coffee will happen hangover or not!), visit friends, Skype family & friends at home, pitch in making a big dinner with my friends, do secret santa, eat, drink & go to the bar. The sense of community, love, warmth & acceptance between all the displaced seasonaires is immense.
 
Before I leave Ireland, my family will have a big Sunday roast & I will give them their gifts for Christmas day. I will squeeze in as much quality time as humanly possible & invite people to the house for post dinner drinks & premature Christmas pudding. There will be rain pelting the windows outside & a roaring fire, laughter & mulled wine inside.
 
I won’t miss much from home over Christmas. The things I miss the most are my dog, the people, the craic & food – not anything exclusively Christmas Day affiliated. It doesn’t have to be Christmas Day for me to eat plenty of good food or enjoy the craic & a few drinks with family & friends. I can do that almost every day. You don’t have to restrict your merriment to 1 day a year.
Merry Christmas everyone!

Travel day!

With 3 hours sleep & miserable as fuck from my cold & hatred of flying I attempt to embrace my day of travel.    *sigh*

This will be my 18th flight in 12 months.    *sigh*

I am perplexed at how I can afford all these flights & how I managed to actually have the will to live to take them. For me that shows a certain strength of character & my determination to travel & explore. All of these flights have been alone. I think all my flights excluding 6 in the past 13 years have been alone. I’m not sure how to travel with a companion now. It would be strange…..

Packing was as drawn out & relentless as ever. I now know that my issue is that I’m too resourceful & see potential use in all my belongings. If only it was as easy as packing my clothes, cosmetics, entertainment & travel documents. I am packing herbs that I struggle to find, chocolate I know my friends will love, secret santa gifts, forward planning birthday gifts, homely comfort items, rehab kit, etc. I need to streamline this. A lot.

I am also a bit scatty. I take it too far. I love my home comforts but sadly that’s where I have to leave them. I also didn’t check the side compartments of my luggage until my bag was being weighed at check in – a tanning mitt & table ping pong set were waiting patiently from my flight from Italy over 2 months ago. I really need to get my act together!

Yet again I am travelling into the relative unknown. I’m going back to my favourite winter home, a beautiful ski resort in Switzerland. This will be my third Christmas here, the unknown aspect is with regards to my work & the duration of my stay. I am going to be working for a nannying company & hopefully I’ll be able to pick up other work during the busier times. I am staying as long as I have work, or until I get bored or something else comes up. I’m always on the lookout for a new adventure and path.

I presume I will stay for a month at least. By then I should have come up with something new & had a good catch up with my wonderful friends. I need to recharge my soul with the fantastic bunch of people I am privileged to call my friends. Laughing, hugging, drinking & dancing. I can’t wait for it all to begin!

Merry Christmas!

My 8 secrets for a cringe free massage

My office

My office

I work in the field of Sports Rehabilitation & massage, normally high end massages in luxury ski resorts or on the other end of the spectrum with sports teams. Looking forward to the upcoming ski season got me thinking about this & what may be some valuable insider information & words of advice for massage therapists everywhere.

Some of the chatter amongst my colleagues circles around when male clients get erections during treatments. I find this massively inappropriate, although hilarious because it is not happening to me of course. It has never happened to me. This situation has happened to my friends many times. Never me. Should I be offended?? I have a 0% erection record & I am determined to maintain this. I started calculating how many massages I have done & dreading that via the law of probability I had one approaching imminently.

I have thus constructed guidelines that I have been living by so I can avoid this situation. These are my tips for when doing massages in a client’s home/chalet. If you work in a spa or with a team you will also be able to adapt & implement some of the tips.

1>Always look sweaty, out of breath & flustered – made believable as you have had to haul your treatment table & kit in the snow for a 20 minute incline whilst more than likely lost & late. This is the client’s first impression of you so it should make a lasting mark. Out of breath panting could be added in a strictly non sexual manner.

2>Exude a simple innocence. A great opportunity to do this is when taking your shoes off. Try to do this when you’re still carrying your treatment table & kit bag. This will look exceptionally awkward & you will inevitably stumble over. This acts to remove any sexual inclination the client may have towards you.

3> Smile. It’s always great to smile. There is no need to be rude to the client. This also discards the mysterious air that men find attractive in moody cows.

4> Be a bit of a mess. This will lower the client’s expectations of you from your initial poor impression digging further the hole of unattractiveness that you want to be consumed by. It’s always helpful to set up your treatment table in a tiny box room, making it physically more difficult will aid in making you look like a hot mess. An unattractive hot mess. While you’re at it why not move the furniture, try to locate plugs & mess around with plug adaptors for your electric blanket.

5> Require pity. When calling the client to commence the massage be sure to look apologetic for your entrance & how long it took you to set up – despite it being a humanely commendable duration to do everything. By mentioning that it took you a long time the client will consider it to have been long & think even less of you. He may doubt your capabilities as a massage therapist, which is a risk. You should easily be able to redeem yourself via your treatment. This lingering sense of disappointment will abolish any sexual tendencies the client may have towards you.

6> The treatment. Carry out an excellent treatment as always. Never compromise on quality, your skills & professional reputation.

7> Chin alignment. At all times keep your head tilted downwards creating a multi chin effect. From the angle your client is at this will be wildly exaggerated & no man or beast would contemplate a sexual encounter with the likes of you.

8> Facial expression. This is your gift to freestyle with. Think unsexy & repulsive. Be as natural as you can with this. It is surprisingly simple to master these looks. In some cases this may actually be your neutral facial expression! So simple! They are highly successful in discouraging an erection.

I hope these tips help you to avoid those those flag pole moments. I can’t imagine the horror in having to deal with this situation – if you have experienced it, please comment & if you have any tips to add please share them.

Back to the homeland

There is nothing like flying into my country. Even in darkness I can feel the familiarity & homeliness. In daylight there is nothing like the views going into Belfast city or the peace of flying into Dublin. I can’t think of any descents I prefer. Just as well as I do them quite regularly…… I have booked a one way flight to Switzerland to visit my friends for Christmas & New Year & hopefully pick up some work!

IMG_0326

I am also looking for my next working adventure. All suggestions are most welcome – if you can think of anything fun I can do work wise & abroad I would really appreciate it! I think it’s time for something new!