Reiki course complete – what a relief….

After a week of Reiki, Shiatsu, yoga & dynamic meditation I feel…… Not any different to be honest. I was hoping to be much more centred, balanced & have a clearer head. I feel just as confused, distracted & overwhelmed as I did prior to starting the course. I don’t feel like I have gained any clarity or enhanced in any way. Was it a wasted week?? Why do I bother with this self improvement & continued professional development??

I feel like I’m striving for outward gains when what I need to do is look internally & focus on what’s inside & self discovery.

On completion of the course I am unsure how I feel about Reiki, my capabilities to facilitate it & my belief in it. I feel like I haven’t been led by optimal reiki masters. I have a belief & trust in Reiki but I think I’ve been let down. I’m disappointed by this experience & annoyed that my time & money hasn’t been channeled optimally. I feel like there’s nothing I can do about it now, but going forward I can be more selective about my teachers & be assertive enough to be able to stop a course when I feel like I’m not getting anything out of it. It’s a shame.

On my last day the people at the centre held a celebration party in my honour. I can be very shy & I was absolutely apprehensive at what this would entail. The party was a made up of my reiki instructor & a couple of people who ran the centre as well as 4 local children. I was presented with my certificates & wholly embarrassed with the fuss & being the centre of attention! After a few cringe worthy photographs we had a dance party where we threw our best moves to meditation music. I have never felt more awkward!!!! Sober dancing can be bad enough when you’re not in the mood, never mind to music you can’t dance to & an audience of people keen to see your western moves.

When I think of it I’m transported straight back to that room & what could well be a life peak of discomfort & embarrassed artificial enjoyment.

I managed 30 minutes of stiff swaying & more fake laughter & ‘smiling through it’ that I thought I could muster. The 30 minute mark came – but we didn’t stop. Welcome to my absolute hell! I was so uncomfortable. I was working down a list through my head of sudden illnesses I could feign to get out of this. If I was back in Ireland I could just should that I left the immersion on then flee.

After 10 more long, unrelenting minutes the ceremony was finally over. We gave each other awkward hugs. I was losing the will to live. I was so happy to leave. I have never endured such prolonged embarrassing discomfort of being uncomfortable in my own skin & exposed to unwanted attention.

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Reiki Level 2, Pokhara, Nepal

After 3 days I’m starting to wonder have I signed up for a Reiki course or am I paying an old man to watch me sleep??

I’m unsure whether I’ve signed up to a Reiki course or I’m just paying an old man to watch me sleep…..

I had a dismal experience in India completing Reiki Level 1 so why I proceeded with a sinister looking Reiki master in Nepal for Level 2, I’ll never know. I feel really uncomfortable with my reiki master. I find his voice grating & his attitude & teaching dull & uninspiring. During our sessions I repeat words I don’t understand while etching symbols in the air that have no meaning to me. This is not the most productive use of my time I agree. I continue anyway, hating every moment.

When the Reiki master gets bored of me he asks me to lie down while he performs Reiki on me. Or so he says. I quickly fall asleep. Every time. I wake to him informing me the session is over & I am covered in dainty little flowers. When did that happen!??

I thank him & pretend to be refreshed &, ‘like, totally attuned’…. He opens his arms to hug me & I shudder. I hold my arms open, mirroring his gesture, but holding my distance. I know this move has worked the last few days at deterring the follow through of a hug. He nods confused at his weird socially incompetent student. He presumes we don’t do hugging in Ireland. I don’t correct him.

I leave happy of my intact personal space but wondering how I always get myself into these situations & why I don’t do anything to break the habit. I turn up the next day for 3 painful hours & a creepy nap. This is my life now. I am a mere puppet to my hastened life choices.

 

Reiki & Shiatsu

I am always continually professionally developing no matter where in the world I am, keen to add a holistic aspect to my sports physiotherapy degree – what better than a spot of Reiki. How useful combined with pitch side trauma! Which elite rugby player wouldn’t be begging for a spot of Reiki along with a concussion assessment or a bit of pre match chakra opening whilst strapping an ankle…? Yes, I am currently an unemployed sports physiotherapist & no I can’t see myself gaining employment any time soon. I can only presume my confusing back catalogue of internationally obtained continuing professional development to supplement my wanderlust is not exactly catapulting my career.

I completed Reiki Level 1 in India last month, you can read about it here & here. It was focused on self healing. I would like to learn more about it & be able to incorporate Reiki into my treatments so I have been researching Level 2 courses. I found one in Pokhara & met with the instructor (obviously it turns out he wasn’t the instructor…). He is friendly, non creepy & has a positive encouraging energy.

Keen to expand my knowledge base I also signed up for Shiatsu.

I will be attending Osho Meditation centre for these courses. The cost is 32000NPR which also includes accommodation & food for 5 days as well as meditation & yoga every day. I am looking forward to starting this programme & hope the meditation & yoga bring me the peace I’ve been seeking.

Reiki Course, Rishikesh, India

 

Rishikesh has a mythical air about it

 

After my first Reiki class I was slightly disillusioned about continuing the course – purely based on the trustworthiness of my reiki master. It was interesting to learn the theory but when the reiki master was practicing reiki on me I felt slightly guarded. Annoyingly so. He wanted to work on my tight shoulder muscles again & I was happy to let him. This time I wore a bra so I just had to unclip it in the back & not get totally topless.

The course was only for 3 days. On each day I left feeling clear & like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I told my reiki master that I feel like my mind never stops. It’s like roads of busy traffic & my thoughts are cars zipping past at extreme velocity. Each day I leave with a serene emptiness in my head. It is bliss. There are no niggling thoughts or urgencies for me to deal with. I have nothing.

I may lose many teeth to the sugary Chai

After reiki I go to the cafe next door for something to eat & I read, write & take in the beautiful view of the Ganges. It is so calming. Then monkeys swoop in & when I feel my strength wavering & they get closer I cautiously flee back to my hostel for a nap. I have a delightful routine here. I just wish I wasn’t so afraid of the monkeys… Or the men.

Reiki Level 1, Rishikesh, India

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My first class of Reiki was scheduled for after the open satsang with Mooji. This ran over late because it started late & I had to run to my Reiki class so I wouldn’t keep my Reiki master waiting. I detest being late for anything. By the time I crossed the monkey bridge it was so busy, I was stressed out & panicked getting across. I arrived at my reiki class five minutes late, sweating & a bit overwhelmed from dodging monkeys. The reiki master was slightly concerned about the state of me.

He thought I seem emotionally traumatised, which I clearly was, so I told him about my very real & present monkey fear so he didn’t presume it was an underlying issue. He was very sweet & spoke casually about the monkeys, helping me with my phobia, & reassured me that I have nothing to worry about (I never believe people when they tell me this regarding monkeys, as if).

Over the course of the next few hours we went over the theory background of reiki & he did  a bit of reiki on me. I was feeling a lot calmer than when I arrived. He asked if he could do a bit of massage on me as he could feel how tense I was. As a massage therapist with shoulders which are so tight they feel like they are smuggling rocks I naturally welcomed the massage. Then he asked me to take my top off. Reasonable request for a massage. I took this off & lay back on my front again. Then he asked that I take my sports bra off. I wasn’t sure how to interpret this. Fair enough, the straps would get in the way – but I didn’t plan on getting topless in my first reiki session. Is this normal??

I hesitated for a moment to weigh up my options & decided to remain open minded despite the alarm going off inside my head. He stood at the other side of the room facing me so I asked him to turn around while I took off my sports bra & lay face down again. He massaged the top of my back which is always extremely tight, but possibly slightly more tense now under the circumstances. My mind wouldn’t settle as I deliberated whether he was a sex starved creep with a skewed impression of western females or he genuinely noticed the tension in my shoulders & wanted to help. I am hopeless, always looking for the good in people. I tried to let go of my negative thoughts & be as optimistic, careful & logical as I could.

After my quick massage I dressed & did feel looser in my back. We spoke about the theory of reiki again but I knew I couldn’t fully entrust myself to this man. It’s a shame I’ve had to put this barrier up to protect myself when all I want to do is develop & engage in a new skill. I have 2 more days of reiki & I’m not going to let the awkwardness of today hinder my learning. Am I being unreasonable? Is it because of what happened in Goa?

Finding a Reiki Master, Rishikesh, India

Rishikesh is a spiritual hotpot of holistic & alternative therapies – what better place for me to begin my journey in Reiki??

I have an interest in Reiki. Coming from a medical background I can struggle with the lack of scientific evidence based research of holistic therapies. I am open to trying everything so despite my lack of conviction I had a reiki treatment as part of a treatment swap with my friend a few years ago. I was surprised to find I actually felt really good afterwards. I felt content, my head felt clear & I was relaxed. I was unsure whether this was down to forcibly lying down guilt free for 1 hour, being in the presence of my lovely friend & her calming nature or the actual reiki. Either way I was happy that it triggered a positive response.

I am always keen to build my skills profile & reiki is one of the things I was drawn to. I walked around Rishikesh checking out places I could learn Reiki. Some of them offered the Level 1 course on unsuitable dates for me & I only found 2 others that seemed ok. I was really annoyed to find that it was only male teachers. I don’t have a great impression of Indian men (read here for my reason why) & when learning Reiki & trusting someone I know it will be more difficult with a male teacher than a female. I booked with one teacher & when I went back to confirm he kept staring at my breasts so I awkwardly cancelled & left feeling so frustrated*. These men are creeps! The thought of being one on one with this guy made my skin crawl.

Another teacher was recommended to me by someone I met in a cafe who categorically confirmed he was not creepy. I met him & booked not feeling fully confident in him, but better than the previous option. How can it be so difficult to find a decent non-sexually threatening reiki teacher in India?? Everything is 100 times more difficult in India.

 

*Not that I should justify myself as being non provocative, for the record, I was wearing a sports bra to make my breasts appear smaller (this is now the only bra I wear in India) & a high round neck t-shirt.

That irrepressible desire to book more flights *sigh*

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Apparently not content with stopping over in Singapore on my way to NZ I have an overwhelming need to visit another country in Asia while I’m there. I have 1 weeks & I’m looking for travspiration (travel inspiration) of amazing places you have visited.

My top wants on the list are: incredible sights, cheap massages, amazing street food, easy going atmosphere…. I’m sure it won’t be difficult to find in Asia.

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I would like some adventure but absolutely no monkey related ‘fun’. I’m not a fan of monkeys. I tend to actively avoid any living animal show or display. I love animals & I refuse to support the exploitation of them. Even if the companies say the animals are treated well I’m sure they would prefer their freedom in the wild.

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While we’re on the subject of creatures the less mosquitos the better. I’m trying to put off Dengue Fever as long as possible. I’m estimating via probability I am about 50 bites away from being very high risk. That’s around 2 or 3 days worth of bites for me.

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I wouldn’t mind escaping the busy cities, learning Reiki, surfing, reading in a cute cafe & as you know eating. I can’t get enough of street food & grieved unashamadely for it once I left Thailand.

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I’ve been on Skyscanner checking flights & Malaysia, Philippines, Indonesia, Vietnam & Thailand are all within my budget. I’m currently leaning towards Bali. All suggestions are welcome. Please comment & put a link to your blog if you have some interesting reading for me. Thanks!