I’m feeling odd. Anxious yet exhilarated. The feeling of suffocation balanced by my unwavering reflex to breathe. The urge to relax but the urgency to adventure.
It’s ironic that I’m feeling odd when the feelings above are so familiar to me. I know the symptoms all too well – itchy feet. I feel like I need to move. I price flights. I google places afar. I price flights again. This cycle continues until I take the plunge & book flights.
I’ve booked flights. I’m going to Sydney in a few days, Bali the following week then possibly India.
My mother worries that something terrible has happened & asks why I don’t like New Zealand. Of course I like it! My new friends look awkwardly at me as I tell them. They wonder why I’m being so rash & question why I don’t want to stay in New Zealand. I have 8 months left on my working holiday visa. They question why I want to visit these countries & seem frustrated with my simple response that I’ve never been to them before. My friends minds wander to the cause of my sudden departure being due to a tumour flourishing within my skull causing this scatty, unreasonable behaviour. I might question it too… But this is not an isolated case. This is consistent with my path & decision making history.
This is the last minute, always on the move, always on the cusp of a new adventure, very delicate ecosystem of life that I lead.