Fitness Retreat Day 7

It’s the big day! I’m anxious because I haven’t weighed myself during this process & have no vague gauge on my progress. I can never tell from my face or how my clothes fit unless I’ve lost over 7kg. During the morning run my mind is bombarded with hope, fear, and a lightness that what’s done is done & I can’t change anything at this late stage. I have done all the stipulated exercises and more. I have also stuck strictly to the fasting plan.

After my shower & before breakfast I get called to do photographs, get measured & weighed. After 6 days of fasting, colonics & exercise I lost a grand total of……. 2.2kg.

Wait. What???? Surely this can’t be correct! I have spent ALL WEEK fasting & done colonics everyday as well as a liver flush. There has to be some sort of a mistake!

I could lose 2.2kg in 1 week on weight watchers while maintaining my normal lifestyle. Think about it – there should have been a notable weight loss if I ate sensibly & exercised more. The colonics & fasting had no effect on me whatsoever. I didn’t have to come to Thailand & waste all this TIME, MONEY & EFFORT. I am so disappointed. Justly so I feel. My friends try to cheer me on & tell me it’s not all to do with the numbers – surely I feel better & I look better. They say because I’m considerably smaller than some others my weight loss has been less in comparison. I can tell they also expected more from me but they are busy being supportive to commiserate with me. So unjust. A guy stayed for half the time as me, only joined in 3 exercise sessions & slept most of the day & he lost TWICE as much as me. Twice. Half the time! I know men lose weight faster than women, but he was here for half the time & did fuck all. Gaaaaaahhhhhhhh, why do I bother? Seriously???

I continue through the motions of the day partaking in the yoga class with a deflated expression & an amazing massage. I am allowed to eat again today & my lunch is 4 papaya slices. It was nice to be chewing again but my disappointment clouds the joy of being able to eat solids.

When it’s time for my colonic I request a new nib because I threw my last one out. I am asked to pay 250THB (which isn’t much). I have already invested too much in this 2.2kg so I swiftly decline therefore opting out of my last colonic. I’m a miserable bitch.

I get my photographs before I leave & I am so relieved & surprised to notice a difference in my physique. I can tell that I have lost weight from my stomach & thighs. I feel a certain redemption that all was not wasted & my effort, time & money did generate a positive difference.

I’m really sad to leave my fellow inmates. They are a great group of people from a wide variety of backgrounds & some have a wonderful sense of humour. Meeting this group & the whole experience has also contributed to this challenge not being a total write off.

I leave on the ferry for my journey to Krabi wondering where my week in Koh Samui disappeared to & totally baffled that everything I put into it was just for 2.2kg……

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